Not much cup

Weekend off for Newcastle fans this weekend, right? With Pardew and Carver having safely negotiated us out of the cup competitions nice and early, this was a weekend to do something non football related.

Or not.

Because events over the weekend brought into sharp focus quite how removed United have become from what a football team should be, and what it can be for its fans.
Cambridge United currently sit 13th in League 2. On Tuesday they’ll be playing at their 8000 capacity stadium against Dagenham and Redbridge but on Friday they hosted Manchester United. And they drew.

So for the next however long (at least until the replay), Being a Cambridge United fan is pretty great. Things weren’t bad anyway, having returned to the football league this year after a 9 year absence, but things were definitely even better after Friday. The press will talk about the £1.5million windfall the club can expect from the return leg at Old Trafford, and I’m sure everyone at the club will welcome that. But the fans will be more excited about the fact that they get to see their team play at Old Trafford. What’s more, for anyone who supports the team who has mates who support Cambridge City or Peterborough (or, Man U for that matter), they’ve got bragging rights for the next few weeks. Same goes if you’re a Bradford City Fan, a Middlesborough fan, the list goes on.

What’s more, if you support West Brom, or Villa, or even Crystal Palace (Feels like Pardiola’s already won more cup games with them than he did with the Toon in 4 years), you have something to look forward to. All 3 sit below us in the table. One has already lost their manager, and the other 2 both have rich owners not necessarily concerned primarily with their clubs winning trophies. But they can all still win the FA cup this year.

Because the ‘magic of the FA Cup’, as I see it, is more than us getting beaten by Hereford. On a more pragmatic level, it’s a chance of winning silverware, in an age where it’s highly unlikely to come through other avenues. What’s more, as the top 6 or 7 (which we should be amongst but that’s for another time) battle out for the riches of the Champions League, those below are left with the scraps that aren’t such a strong priority for them, namely the cups.

Now, this year has been noted as a year when even the big 4 have named strong teams in the Cup Games and aimed for the “quadruple” or “quintuple”, but realistically it can only be priority 3 or 4 for them after the league and the Top 4. For everyone else, if you count avoiding relegation, then it’s number 2 at the lowest.

But that’s not true for Newcastle. Priority 2 might be securing 10th place, because of the money from Sky that comes a long with it. Priority 2 might be maximising profits on recently acquired signings who have caught the eyes of bigger clubs and replacing with a cheaper, younger alternative. Priority 2 might be shipping a boss on a good wage but with a long contract and a more traditional view on being a manager, and replacing him with someone happy to be (and be paid as) a ‘head coach’. But it won’t be winning the Cup.

And why should it be? If the club is to be run as a self-sufficient, profit-making and stable business, something like a cup run can be seen as nothing but risky. Extra games to stretch a paper thin squad? No thanks. What if we did win, we’d have to play European football next season, and that’s just not worth the hassle. Ta, but no ta. Yes, it might keep the fans happy, but they seem to keep turning up anyway, they even came when we got relegated, so they definitely aren’t a priority. Some even joked after Saturdays array of ding-dongs that all the big clubs had seen Newcastle’s wise approach and followed suit. Mourinho’s comments afterwards just a cleverly scripted facade to keep the faithful happy. (Worth mentioning that Blackburn, who didn’t manage to bounce straight back to the EPL, were also amongst the giant-killers this weekend, beating Swansea. In front of less than 6000 supporters. They won the Premier League 20 years ago this season.)

But if that’s what it’s come down to, accepting we’re not Manchester City and being thankful we’re not Blackburn, then I come back to what I’ve said before, what’s the point, surely there’s more to it than that?! Would I want to do a Wigan and win the FA Cup whilst being relegated? Probably not. But were the best years of my football support life the years you had to Tell me Ma I’m gannin’ to Wembley? Of course they were. I guess what I’m saying is nothing new, sometimes it is the taking part that counts. Newcastle aren’t even taking part these days, just making up (and playing) the numbers (game).

Colin Murray described us, as others have before, as the Sleeping Beauty of English football, profits and fans always outdoing our league position. I see us more as a zombie, controlled from inside by an invading parasite who’s hollowed us out from the inside. And whereas lower league clubs, particularly abroad, operate as feeder clubs for the big boys, we’re a feeder business for a discount sports shop.

Up for the cup? You’re having a laugh.

Dulwich Hamlet

Yesterday I went to a football match. I decided to go without needing to check my bank balance first and without weeks of planning. I went to see South London to see Dulwich Hamlet play Billericay Town in the Ryman Isthmian Football League. Now, you may have heard of Dulwich Hamlet, the self-styled “Swaggering Dandies” of non-league football, perhaps because of a VICE article. That, as it transpired, was why I ended up there, a friend having read the article and been intrigued by the idea of a team in the 6th tier of English football attracting 800, vocally left-wing, fans every week in an attempt to change the way that football is done in England, all in trendy, gentrified SE22.

My observations were that there were a few different tribes within the fanbase, including families and old boys who’ve probably been coming a long for years. There was indeed a big group of ‘ultras’ plastered in Pink and Blue who I stayed with for the majority of the game. They were very vocal throughout, most of their chants seemingly being based on 80s and 90s chart hits (“I said BOOM BOOM BOOM, let me her you say Dulwich…” etc). Some of this seemed a bit self aware, a bit knowing, but at the same time it was all good fun, and everyone involved, whether doing so in that painfully-London ‘ironic’ way or not, did so with a smile on their face. The atmosphere was definitely more upbeat and jovial than I remember at any Premier League game I’ve been to in the past few years.

That could be because they’re winning though. In 2013 they were promoted and they currently sit 3rd in the league. Another factor was that I wasn’t convinced that everyone singing along and drinking along was that bothered about what was happening on the other side of the whitewash. When Billericay went 1 up in the first half, there was very little if any response, to the extent I wasn’t sure everyone had noticed. While the purist in me initially disliked this, by the end I was more relaxed about it. Games at St. James’ Park I’ve been to recently can end up being so painful and devoid of ‘fun’, perhaps because the noise from the fans is so tied to events on the pitch. At Dulwich, the fans behind the goals were there to sing all day and have a good time regardless of events on the pitch. A cynic might argue that would be just as well watching football of such low quality, but I’d ask them to watch Newcastle’s recent performance against Leicester and then ask whether there was really that much difference!

I found myself constantly comparing the experience to what I was used to, and speaking to and listening to those around me, I wasn’t alone. There was definitely a group of people there, like myself and my friends, accustomed to the bigger, commercial, Sky-sponsored version of football and interested in trying something different. What proportion of those in attendance fell into that category I’m not sure, but it is clearly something that is happening all over the country in various guises, whether it be people setting up their own alternative teams (FC United or MK Dons), or travelling to Germany every week in search of a better experience.

And, in lots of ways, it was. I loved the idea that I could go and watch them again if I wanted without having to think about the financial implications too much. It was great to be able to get a local beer (isn’t it bloody Coors at St. James at the moment?!) and also to be in an exciting, competitive sporting environment, without the stress of frustration that can dog modern premier league games. No matter what the result was yesterday (Dulwich won 2-1), no one was going home with their weekend ruined.

But the quality of the football wasn’t great. And I wasn’t convinced everyone in attendance was really a football fan so much as just doing what was hip this week in Dulwich. I would be interested to see what effect the VICE article had on attendances. It seemed suspicious that the entrance price had gone up from £4 to £10 between the article and me attending (ED: TURNS OUT THE VICE JOURNALIST IS A STUDENT SO PAID CONCESSION PRICE). Yes, that’s still a lot less than going to an Arsenal game, but it’s not much less than some Championship and League 1 teams. I’d be also be interested to see what the players think of it too. Whilst I’m sure they love that they have a much bigger fan base than other clubs in the league, I can’t help thinking it must be a bit surreal.

Overall though, I came away feeling great. it made me want to go and see some non-league teams more local to my part of London (including the English St. Pauli, Clapton FC). After the Leicester Game, I noticed a real presence on twitter of fans calling for a boycott of NUFC. How about not boycotting, but just watching someone else for a while. The mighty ‘Heed? Or why not Newcastle Panthers, Newcastle’s LGBT friendly football team? You certainly wouldn’t have to worry about where your ticket money was going, or about the players desire to win trophies.

The thing that struck me most, was the sense that this was why football became such a big deal in the UK. But it’s something that someone of my age has never really felt, supporting a big team. They’ve always had a professional distance, the big machinery of big business and that infrastructure of security and health and safety creating a divide that seems to be ever widening.

Someone told me that the pitch at St. James’ is still owned by the council. A patch of grass that, as the team who played on it got more and more popular, the stands and the turnstiles and everything else got built around it. But at some point did that mean it stopped being what it started as, just a patch of grass with some lads kicking a ball around on.

One of my friends commented that being at the Hamlet’s game reminded him of when he first started going to Newcastle Falcons rugby matches when he was a kid. He remembered how it changed as the game got more professional, the security keeping you away from the players, the prices going up on tickets. Last month Wasps (having dropped the ‘London’ from their name last year) moved to Coventry to secure their financial success. I had to leave one of my first jobs in London as they relocated the office to Leeds, so they could pay us less and less in rent.

Not a perfect day out, but I wouldn’t expect that. My first taste of non-league football was one I thoroughly enjoyed and would definitely recommend. Well done Dulwich Hamlet.

Let’s start with a low

I’ve got to start somewhere, so why not start with my club, Newcastle United, managerless and without any chance of silverware (again), fans singing “we’re shit and we’re sick of it” at games, and the Christmas holidays aren’t even over yet. Perhaps worst of all, the response to these circumstances from many football pundits, both radio and telly, seems to be that our former manager was forced out of the club by a mob of uneducated, ungrateful fans who are never happy and will come to wish he’d never left. Moreover, we need to accept our status as a mid-table club and just be thankful we don’t have to worry about relegation (at least not every season) or going bust.

Well I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.

Newcastle fans may indeed have expectations or aspirations for their club that border on the unrealistic at times, but isn’t that part of the joy of football. If not, why would the fans of Blyth, Gateshead and Southport have turned out yesterday to support their teams against clubs that were odds on to beat them? I heard a West Bromwich Albion fan on the radio last week responding to the appointment of Tony Pulis say that “we know we’ll never win anything, so I guess the only priority is avoiding relegation, so in that respect it’s a good appointment.” I give up before I get to there. There can be so much more to aim at or desire than simply winning trophies, financial security or avoiding relegation. I’m also far from convinced that those pundits really want fans to all share his attitude, 606 wouldn’t really work anymore, would it Robbie?

And this brings me on to my next point. Programs like 606 and whatever the latest Murdoch football shows are called present themselves as the homes of serious discussion and analysis, but they’re not, they’re entertainment. Robbie Savage and Ian Wright are pundits on 5Live, not because they’re the greatest football minds that the British Isles has produced in recent years, but because they’re erratic, overly emotional, prejudiced and therefore more likely to cause arguments and intereactions with the shows they present, rather than getting everything right or being truly insightful. This is a trend going back years. You just have to look at Alan Hansen; the one thing everyone remembers him saying in how ever many years on the MotD sofas was “you’ll never win anything with kids”; a subjective and ultimately incorrect opinion. The hours of endless critique about defensive lapses systems? Forget it.

Reading it back, the description of Wrighty and Savage is fairly fitting for a lot of football fans I’d say, the difference of course being that the pundits aren’t just your daft mate in the pub, always stating his or her opinion as fact. They’re on telly, referred to as experts and so when they get it wrong about your team, it’s infuriating. LIke this week with Newcastle and Pardew. Perhaps worse, I end up feeling like they’re all part of a boys club who have an agreement to never criticise each other in public, just in case they ever need to tap each other up for work further down the line. If I’m biased, I do it openly, my allegiances are there for everyone to see. The vested interests of pundits and ex-players are far more difficult to discern, particularly if you start to look into who shares agents and so on.

If I was in the pub with Robbie Savage and Paul Merson this week, I’d like to ask them just to explain to me, in what ways, using facts, what they mean when they say Pardew did a remarkable job at St. James’.

When he took over the club 4 years ago, we were 11th in the premier league, one position lower than we are in today. So by that yard stick, decidedly unremarkable. How about consistency? Our final league positions in each of the seasons he was in charge were 12th, 5th, 16th and 10th. Harldy a yo-yo club but definitely inconsistent and with no discernible direction or curve. For those that are interested, there are lots oof pretty tables circulating on twitter that show how Necastle’s record over the past 4 years in all sorts of criteria (games won, golas scored, etc) is conistent only in being amongst the bottom 5.

Maybe we could accept our travails in the league, accepting that other clubs’ succeses and failures will impact upon us and so on, as long as we had found other things to look forward to. Maybe, like the Liverpool and Tottenham (and sort of Newcastle) of the late 90s and early 00s, we were a ‘cup team’, repeatedly going on exciting runs that got the fans singing about Wembley every year. Again, while I think it might be fair to call Pardew’s cup record ‘unbelievable’, it would be because of how appalling it was. As some newspapers have pointed out this morning, Newcastle have actually only reached one quarter-final since 2007.

At least he stuffed your local rivals though, right? Wrong. Pardew had the worst record against Sunderland out of any Newcastle manager. EVER.

So I ask again, explain how he did a remarkable or unbelievable job.

Now, I would admit, I’ve been slightly narrow in my area of discussion so far. It would be remiss of me to discuss Newcastle United’s plight over the past 4 years without referring to our beloved owner, Michael Ashley. There is no doubt that the restrictions he has put on the club and the way he runs it as a business (more details on this will need to be saved for another post or you can find plenty of other posts elsewhere) would make the job of any manager at the club more difficult than it might otherwise be. But Pardew knew that when he took the job. Moreover, Newcastle are not alone in being owned by someone who seems intent on taking money out of the club (mostly TV money) or using it to subsidise and/or promote their other business interests. Something, surely, that all football lovers could unite in their disliking of and anger at? Apparently not, if you listen to many pundits AND Pardew. Don’t get me wrong, Newcastle United’s balance sheet looks undoubtedly healthier than it did when Ashley bought the club, but as I said at the top, I can’t be happy that my club is simply solvent. I need more than that.

For me, Pardew’s tenure at Newcastle United is a picture of all things that are wrong with the premier league at present. Spin, branding and cronyism amongst the upper echelons helping to create an image of success when even the slightest scratching beneath the surface reveals another story. After 4 years, Ashley ends up with almost enough compensation to cover the wages he spent, and without a big, long contract to negotiate, the club exactly where he wants it, away from relegation, but not troubling Europe or the Cup competitions that would force him to add to a paper thin squad.

Pardew, a manger who’s reputation was fairly tarnished when he arrived (as a result of a relegation and losing the support of his staff at Southampton with fairly troubling allegations circling around him) now leaves with a much restored image and a few million quid richer. He also leaves for a significant pay rise, something that strangely hasn’t been mentioned by many of the pundits. Whether Newcastle as a team will do better or worse without him is well, unknowable to be honest. Just as unknowable as how they would have faired over the last 4 years with a different manager.

It might be worth mentioning that, when Chris Hughton was sacked, we were told it was because he didn’t have the strength of character required to run a Premier League team and recruit the players we needed. 2 months later we sold our best player (a pattern repeated ever since) and we now know that Pardew was actually involved in less than half a dozen of the players signed during his time with the club.

This divide between what is said and what is actually going on at Newcastle is endemic throught the Premier League. What’s depressing is that, instead of events at St. James’ being something that all football fans (that includes the pundits) could rally round as an example of how football needs to change, the vested interests and tribalism of the modern game mean that we are once more a laughing stock, perhaps a worthwhile sacrifice for the sake of preserving the blemish-free brand of the Premier League, the best football business in the world.

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